Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Aspergers - Innocence - your child being taken advantage of

We have this reoccuring theme in our house.

Our daughter, sitting at her computer IMing people for hours, will ask her brother to "please go get me a Capri Sun" or "please go get me a cookie." Will is more than obliging. He likes doing things for people, and he LOVES his sister, so he runs to get the cookie or the Capri Sun. This happens multiple times a day. Is the situation ever reversed? Does our daughter ever get anything for Will? Hardly ever. Every once in a while, we try to convince Will that he doesn't need to get his sister anything, that he's not her slave, that maybe it's HER turn to get them a cookie or something to drink. But he refuses -- he says he loves her, and he's going to get her whatever she wants.

I'm not the only person a little concerned about this. His social skills class "manager" is also trying to teach him "assertiveness training," trying to let him know that it's OK to express anger. As she puts it (so eloquently, I thought) -- "Will, it's OK to be angry. It's not OK to not be nice, but it's OK to feel angry." They are trying to get the kids in the class to express their anger rather than surpress it, but to express that anger in socially appropriate ways.

So, the other day, we are watching television together, and there comes on the screen a situation where a group of people are taking advantage of an individual. I, of course, want to point this out to Will, trying desperately to make a point, so I say "Will, see those people? They're trying to take advantage of that guy. That's not right. He's not their slave. That's like what your sister does to you sometimes. You don't have to do everything she asks you to do!"

His reply --

In his best "exorcist" voice --

"I don't care."

Ya know what? I give up . . .



At 4:52 PM, Blogger Megan said...

I was that Aspergers child taken advantage of and now I fight back with my comics that give me a voice.
What you said touched me.
I have alot of wounds from bullying and from a dad that didn't understand.
My blog is and my webpage is


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